Holiday parties can have a big upside for your career--particularly with respect to internal networking and profile building. They offer a chance to catch up with people you may not have worked with in a while but want to stay in touch with. They can be a venue to meet or get in front of someone you would like to work with but haven't gotten the chance. Or, they can let you enjoy the company of those you do work with in a nicer, more relaxed environment. As an added benefit, people are generally in good moods around the holidays.
On the downside, free booze and food makes holiday parties fecund ground for overeating, drinking too much and even potential career or reputation missteps.
From my days in HR at a large law firm, I've broken up fights; saved marriages and spared otherwise awkward next morning moments; thwarted attempts at public urination; sent a fair number of merry-makers home in cabs; and kept grumpy humbuggers from negatively contaminating everyone's good cheer.
Holiday party patrol was never fun but it was certainly eye-opening. But really, who hasn't overindulged at a holiday party? I'm certainly not throwing stones.
So, what's the culprit or common thread? It definitely comes down to stress. And let's face it, stress at law firms at year end is just a big old given! Year-end deals are trying are to close. Projects have hard & fast deadlines so the fortunate can get out on vacation. Throw in holiday shopping and stress is a constant year-end companion.
You need not put your career or your health goals in danger though if you heed these simple pre-holiday party tips:
1.) Stop and gage your level of stress. If it's high, go for a walk around the block, pop on your head phones and listen to a soothing song or just take a few deep breaths.
2.) Eat a light, healthy snack before you go so that you're not starving when you get there. Hunger at a venue where there is unlimited access to food can easily derail your nutritional goals.
3.) Establish guidelines for eating and drinking before you go and be disciplined about them. For example, maybe you will have only one of each appetizer and skip the carving station or cheese spread. Or maybe you will avoid the dessert table. And perhaps you will limit yourself to just wine or beer skipping the top shelf hard liquor & set a numerical limit.
4.) If you are concerned you may overindulge, buddy up with someone who can help keep you accountable and vice versa.
Other tips for once you're there:
1.) Alternate drinks with water.
2.) Situate yourself away from the bar and/or the food stations. Having to get on line for things will help to create natural breaks and slow you down.
3.) Mingle and immerse yourself in conversation. Engaging dialog can be a helpful distraction.
Now armed with these simple preventative measures, go enjoy yourself. This season only comes once a year.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Meditation Monday: Bechamel Sauce
I love, love, love to cook. For me, it's one of the best forms of meditation because it requires a fairly intense focus. Problem is, with a 5 month old around I don't get much of a chance to cook the way I love to--all day long, with my husband on big projects like intricate pastas, soups or stews. That is until grandparents show up for Thanksgiving weekend.
So, with the precious resource of babysitters around, we embarked on some epic cooking projects this past weekend. One in particular, lasagna made with Bechamel sauce (a la Giada DeLaurentiis), provided an unexpected meditation opportunity. Bechamel sauce, because it needs constant stirring, requires you to focus on just one thing for at least ten minutes. Wa-lah!! It fits my micro meditation definition.
There I was, stirring my Bechamel sauce. I would breathe in for 7 counts stirring right to left and then I would exhale for 7 counts stirring left to right. I did that for approximately 15 minutes while I waited patiently for the sauce to hit the right thickness.
There you have it. Grab a pot, some milk, flour, butter, etc. and get to stirring, breathing and a very fulfilling micro-meditation.
So, with the precious resource of babysitters around, we embarked on some epic cooking projects this past weekend. One in particular, lasagna made with Bechamel sauce (a la Giada DeLaurentiis), provided an unexpected meditation opportunity. Bechamel sauce, because it needs constant stirring, requires you to focus on just one thing for at least ten minutes. Wa-lah!! It fits my micro meditation definition.
There I was, stirring my Bechamel sauce. I would breathe in for 7 counts stirring right to left and then I would exhale for 7 counts stirring left to right. I did that for approximately 15 minutes while I waited patiently for the sauce to hit the right thickness.
There you have it. Grab a pot, some milk, flour, butter, etc. and get to stirring, breathing and a very fulfilling micro-meditation.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Meditation Monday: A Chair & A Midtown Waterfall
For today's Meditation Monday, I'm borrowing a page from someone else's book. The best part is, I don't even know this guy.
With a few spare minutes in between a lunch and an afternoon meeting, I happened upon a lovely outdoor space on 53rd between 5th & Madison. The draw for this space is that there is a full length waterfall/fountain. Talk about a Zen spot in the middle of mid-town craziness.
I thought, what a great place to just sit and meditate. And then I realized, someone else beat me to it. There he was--conservative blue suit; white shirt; blue tie. He was sitting in a chair, by himself in front of the water. That's all he was doing. Just sitting. Sometimes he'd look at the water--and sometimes he'd simply look down or off into space. He wasn't on his blackberry, chatting or scarfing down food as others around him were (myself included). He was just sitting.
What struck me was how calm and yet how purposeful he looked. Very peaceful and serene. I have no idea how long he was there prior to my arrival but he sat like that for at least 10 minutes.
What a great role model. A business type who was taking some time out of his day to just sit in silence and stare at a waterfall. Maybe he was reviewing a presentation he was about to give or go over a difficult conversation he needed to have. Who knows?
What I do know is that I took note of him and was impressed by him. I thought, if he can do it, so can I--and so can you!
With a few spare minutes in between a lunch and an afternoon meeting, I happened upon a lovely outdoor space on 53rd between 5th & Madison. The draw for this space is that there is a full length waterfall/fountain. Talk about a Zen spot in the middle of mid-town craziness.
I thought, what a great place to just sit and meditate. And then I realized, someone else beat me to it. There he was--conservative blue suit; white shirt; blue tie. He was sitting in a chair, by himself in front of the water. That's all he was doing. Just sitting. Sometimes he'd look at the water--and sometimes he'd simply look down or off into space. He wasn't on his blackberry, chatting or scarfing down food as others around him were (myself included). He was just sitting.
What struck me was how calm and yet how purposeful he looked. Very peaceful and serene. I have no idea how long he was there prior to my arrival but he sat like that for at least 10 minutes.
What a great role model. A business type who was taking some time out of his day to just sit in silence and stare at a waterfall. Maybe he was reviewing a presentation he was about to give or go over a difficult conversation he needed to have. Who knows?
What I do know is that I took note of him and was impressed by him. I thought, if he can do it, so can I--and so can you!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Ugh!! I Botched the "Tell Me About Yourself" Question
I really hate it when I catch myself not following the advice I give to others—especially clients. It’s an unsavory feeling.
Recently, I was in a meeting with a client of my firm’s who wanted to meet me--put a name to a face type of thing. Not exactly an interview but still important to make a positive impression.
I had prepared for what I thought would be the content she’d be most interested in and was determined to get it across. And then, there it was---“tell me about yourself”. A question I’ve prepped clients for a thousand times over.
And what did I do?? I proceeded to break every rule I give them. Ok, so I really don’t set rules—they’re more like guidelines. And I didn’t break every one of them but sadly, more than I’d like to admit. Although I am going to admit it here so I don’t fall prey again.
Here’s what I did wrong:
- I launched right into a chronological story. In 1994, I did this. Then a few years later I did that. I spent some further time doing this. And then I did that. Oh and I forgot something so let me go back. And finally I ended up right here where I am.
- I put in a lot of unnecessary and probably confusing details. I took her to one place and then I switched directions and took her somewhere else.
- I talked too long for any human being to possibly retain all of the information.
- I showed no signs that I was able to parse out for her what the most important and relevant information was.
- I forgot that if she was really interested in the specific details, she could also ask questions.
Ugh! B-O-R-I-N-G!!! Bless her heart for even listening to me that long. I finally caught on when she asked me a question and said something like “I’d love to hear you ramble on about that.” Now, that might have been a total Freudian slip on her part --but it certainly got my attention.
And like the sea parting I saw exactly what my mistake had been. I wasn’t listening to her. I was trying to pack in all the information that I had prepped and I totally botched what she really wanted to know—not my resume but who I was as a person.
Here’s what I should have done:
- Define: “Here's what I do/who I am.” (in one sentence or less)
- Energize: “Here’s why I love what I do.”
- Show: “Here’s the level and scope of responsibility I have.”
- Highlight: “Some (but not all) of my credentials include….”
- Focus: “Here's the exposure I've had with the main skills someone with my background needs” or “My main areas of expertise where I like to focus are…”
- Brag (Humbly): “My proudest accomplishment is…”
Thankfully, I was able to regroup, start listening, shorten my answers and ask her some questions that got her talking about herself and her firm. This shift made a huge difference—at least I hope it did.
We ended on a positive note and not surprisingly, talking about personal things like my daughter and motherhood—something we had in common. If I had just listened in the first place, I would have saved both of us a lot of time and I would have made a better impression much sooner on in the conversation.
Recently, I was in a meeting with a client of my firm’s who wanted to meet me--put a name to a face type of thing. Not exactly an interview but still important to make a positive impression.
I had prepared for what I thought would be the content she’d be most interested in and was determined to get it across. And then, there it was---“tell me about yourself”. A question I’ve prepped clients for a thousand times over.
And what did I do?? I proceeded to break every rule I give them. Ok, so I really don’t set rules—they’re more like guidelines. And I didn’t break every one of them but sadly, more than I’d like to admit. Although I am going to admit it here so I don’t fall prey again.
Here’s what I did wrong:
- I launched right into a chronological story. In 1994, I did this. Then a few years later I did that. I spent some further time doing this. And then I did that. Oh and I forgot something so let me go back. And finally I ended up right here where I am.
- I put in a lot of unnecessary and probably confusing details. I took her to one place and then I switched directions and took her somewhere else.
- I talked too long for any human being to possibly retain all of the information.
- I showed no signs that I was able to parse out for her what the most important and relevant information was.
- I forgot that if she was really interested in the specific details, she could also ask questions.
Ugh! B-O-R-I-N-G!!! Bless her heart for even listening to me that long. I finally caught on when she asked me a question and said something like “I’d love to hear you ramble on about that.” Now, that might have been a total Freudian slip on her part --but it certainly got my attention.
And like the sea parting I saw exactly what my mistake had been. I wasn’t listening to her. I was trying to pack in all the information that I had prepped and I totally botched what she really wanted to know—not my resume but who I was as a person.
Here’s what I should have done:
- Define: “Here's what I do/who I am.” (in one sentence or less)
- Energize: “Here’s why I love what I do.”
- Show: “Here’s the level and scope of responsibility I have.”
- Highlight: “Some (but not all) of my credentials include….”
- Focus: “Here's the exposure I've had with the main skills someone with my background needs” or “My main areas of expertise where I like to focus are…”
- Brag (Humbly): “My proudest accomplishment is…”
Thankfully, I was able to regroup, start listening, shorten my answers and ask her some questions that got her talking about herself and her firm. This shift made a huge difference—at least I hope it did.
We ended on a positive note and not surprisingly, talking about personal things like my daughter and motherhood—something we had in common. If I had just listened in the first place, I would have saved both of us a lot of time and I would have made a better impression much sooner on in the conversation.
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