Here's the remainder of the things I learned on my August vacation. Hope everyone got to take vacation this year. It is soooooo important to overall life and career happiness. And the holidays are just around the corner.
11.) Thanks to many forwarded emails and Facebook & Twitter updates, moderate drinking can prolong your life according to recent studies. As a health coach, I'm not sure this is the best info to have circulating. As someone who enjoys wine, a cold corona with lime on a hot summer day and the occasional margarita (ok-maybe not so occasional), I say "Rock on!"
12.) It doesn't matter how old I am, I still miss my parents when I'm away.
13.) When you get lazy and forget to put sunblock on (or get cocky when you think you already have a base tan going) and then you fall asleep on the beach, you WILL get sunburnt. Aloe does really help though.
14.) One of the best feelings in the world is falling asleep on the beach in the arms of your special someone-even if you end up getting sunburnt.
15.) The difference between relaxation and boredom is that when you're relaxed you're grateful for and enjoy the fact that you don't have anything to do--when you're bored, you feel the compulsion for and loss of something to do.
16.) Even when things don't go your way or as you planned, there really is always something to learn from or be grateful for. (Although, swallowing your own pill can be somewhat painful.)
17.) Resistance, in it's many prolific forms, is fertile.
18.) Laughter is one of the best abdominal workouts on the market--and, it's free.
19.) Bargain shopping can be fun and is actually an art form.
20.) When you get stung by a bee, honey is one of the best cures (apparently motorcyclists keep honey on their bikes with them at all times). And, bees can swim. Who knew?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
It's been awhile since my last blog post but sometimes when you live, work, eat, play (especially the "work") part, you can't always find time for blogging. Over the course of two posts, I'm sharing the Top 20 Things I Learned on Vacation. Here's the first ten.
1.) Doing a few minutes of work each day of vacation is better than doing a full day of work each day.
2.) Pizza on the grill is actually quite tasty (albeit a lot of work if you're feeding a bunch of people and need to make multiple pizzas). A true exercise in logistics and coordination.
3.) No matter how many times you tell people how long you will be away for and when you'll be back, they will forget and still ask you multiple times.
4.) If you haven't been running in awhile (or run more than 3 miles the last few times you have been running) and you go out on a 5 mile run, you will be exceedingly sore the next day and get reacquainted with muscles you didn't remember you had.
5.) Reading nutrition books on vacation can help keep you focused on eating healthfully.
6.) It takes more than reading books on nutrition to help keep you focused on eating healthfully while on vacation. You still need some good old fashioned discipline. They should really bottle that stuff in travel sized containers.
7.) It's ok to take a short break from otherwise healthy eating habits as long as it's not a permanent break-which can be the dangers of a two week vacation.
8.) Two and a half year olds are actually smarter than 38year olds-even ones with fancy schmancy psych degrees and certifications in behavioral motivation. And--it doesn't really matter anyway because they're so bleeping cute, they will win either way.
9.) In addition to regular paprika, there is a souped up version of it called smoked paprika that makes a kick ass rub for shrimp and sausage skewers (thanks Epi app).
10.) Even though the Expendables was a highly entertaining movie with amazing fight sequences (albeit slightly unrealistic that none of them sustained major injuries while taking on entire armies with full ammunition), it provides a painful reminder that there is a shocking lack of female "bad ass" roles out there. Is there not even one women in Hollywood who's Expendable worthy? As a woman, a martial artist and an HR professional, I find this a glaring oversight-particularly in 2010.
Stay tuned for the second ten next post. In the meantime, have fun as you live, work, eat, play.
1.) Doing a few minutes of work each day of vacation is better than doing a full day of work each day.
2.) Pizza on the grill is actually quite tasty (albeit a lot of work if you're feeding a bunch of people and need to make multiple pizzas). A true exercise in logistics and coordination.
3.) No matter how many times you tell people how long you will be away for and when you'll be back, they will forget and still ask you multiple times.
4.) If you haven't been running in awhile (or run more than 3 miles the last few times you have been running) and you go out on a 5 mile run, you will be exceedingly sore the next day and get reacquainted with muscles you didn't remember you had.
5.) Reading nutrition books on vacation can help keep you focused on eating healthfully.
6.) It takes more than reading books on nutrition to help keep you focused on eating healthfully while on vacation. You still need some good old fashioned discipline. They should really bottle that stuff in travel sized containers.
7.) It's ok to take a short break from otherwise healthy eating habits as long as it's not a permanent break-which can be the dangers of a two week vacation.
8.) Two and a half year olds are actually smarter than 38year olds-even ones with fancy schmancy psych degrees and certifications in behavioral motivation. And--it doesn't really matter anyway because they're so bleeping cute, they will win either way.
9.) In addition to regular paprika, there is a souped up version of it called smoked paprika that makes a kick ass rub for shrimp and sausage skewers (thanks Epi app).
10.) Even though the Expendables was a highly entertaining movie with amazing fight sequences (albeit slightly unrealistic that none of them sustained major injuries while taking on entire armies with full ammunition), it provides a painful reminder that there is a shocking lack of female "bad ass" roles out there. Is there not even one women in Hollywood who's Expendable worthy? As a woman, a martial artist and an HR professional, I find this a glaring oversight-particularly in 2010.
Stay tuned for the second ten next post. In the meantime, have fun as you live, work, eat, play.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Matisse and other "Out of World" Experiences
A few weeks ago I went to the opening of the new Matisse exhibit at MoMA (thanks again Friedrich!!) and it reminded me of how important it is to have what I call "out of world" experiences. I'm not necessarily talking about "out of this world" experiences--although those are great too. What I'm talking about is when you get the chance to step out of the world you live in every day and get to experience a whole new world or, at least, one that is vastly different than yours. Engaging in a hobby doesn't really count because that is conceivably part of your world.
For me, my daily world is the corporate world with a little bit of karate and other health/fitness things. It's a lot of knowing and using corporate lingo and helping others navigate their own corporate experiences. So, when I step into MoMA and the art world I really do feel like I'm on some alternate level of existence. I certainly enjoy art but it's not something I would put myself in front of often. (Dating an artist has definitely increased the volume of art time I get these days though.)
When I do put myself in the art world or other "worlds" though, the benefits are unbelievable. First, it gives me a fresh way of looking at things. Second, I'm not a subject matter expert so it's a very humbling experience which is always good. It stretches me to think differently--and sometimes in a more playful, humorous, creative way. For example, as I was looking at a painting called Bathers and a Turtle--I was thinking to myself, "Why the hell is there a turtle in this scene (logic) and realizing the answer in the art world is, why not (creativity)?" It was also fascinating to observe the people who live in the art world so to speak. Many of them dress differently than those in my world--somewhat more creatively, sometimes even outlandishly. They use different lingo--almost as if they speak a language that I don't. Do I want to learn that language or just stay in the periphery???
Some other recent "out of world experiences":
- Surfing: I spent some time a few weekends ago mesmerized by the surfers I was watching. Surfing---another art form to be sure. I have a fantasy about being a hard core surfer (but for my intense fear of sharks, I'd give it a try). What would it be like to plan my days around the tide and weather? Something you don't worry about when you go to an office every day. To walk down the beach with a surf board with one of those little safety cords attached to my ankle--looking like I knew exactly what I was doing. Wearing cool surfing clothes.
- 3 children under the age of 7: Last weekend I was with my college roommate, her husband and their 3 children under the age of 7 who I'm totally in love with. That love does have its extreme challenges I realized. There's nothing quite like navigating sibling rivalry dynamics to suck all of the energy out of one's body. Definitely a change from my, "my life is my own and I make sure things go smoothly" routine. Appreciating the perspective of parents who manage this on a daily basis was definitely an eye opening, out of world experience!
- Small town: While with my roommate, I got to appreciate her small New England town replete with a small town square/park where they were having a farmers market. Town consists of one of two main streets & a traffic circle. Hard to compare to the vast beast of NYC. I was fascinated to see how everyone knew each other, names of kids, etc. We literally couldn't go anywhere without bumping into people they knew.
- Financial planning: I'm a liberal arts/psych girl. I don't speak finance. I have a better chance of learning French than I do becoming even remotely competent at personal finance. Yet, I know I must keep pushing forward on this front. I met with my financial advisor last week and my head is still spinning. For sure--this is not my world. I've been trying to self-educate on this front and I'm hoping the accounting/math genes on the Costigan side start to kick in soon. (More on the importance of financial planning and how it links to being able to LiveWorkEatPlay in a separate blog post).
So, while I'm not likely to become an artist, surfer, mother of 3 (although you can all have a good laugh at my expense if this does happen someday), financial wizard or small town dweller, it's been fun and eye opening to temporarily inhabit those spaces. What are you doing to live "out of your world?"
Monday, July 12, 2010
Networking Out of Network
Below is my latest article published in Young Lawyers Connect of the New York City Bar Association. It's geared mainly to lawyers but really applies to anyone in professional services.
You Don't Have to Network with Just Lawyers
By Diane Costigan
Networking is one of the most important tools any attorney has in his/her career toolbox. It can help you find a job, develop business, uncover hidden opportunities, discover previously unknown resources, and even develop longstanding friendships. Naturally, it will be most likely that you will network with other lawyers. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen clients make with respect to networking is to seek out only lawyers as contacts. Focusing your networking efforts exclusively with lawyers can limit your career development. Here’s why.
‐ Universal rule: It is a universal rule that everyone is a lawyer, is married or related to a lawyer or has a close personal friend who’s a lawyer. So, no matter who you are talking to, you are never more than a few degrees away from a lawyer contact. For example, you may be looking for a job. The person who’s always on the treadmill next to you at the gym who works in fashion and with whom you’re now friends happens to be the daughter of the hiring partner at a mid‐sized firm. Bingo!
‐ It’s not just about you: An important part of networking is building up your own contacts to be in a position to help connect others. Helping others will inevitably be returned back to you through networking karma. It’s real, believe me. The person you help may not be the exact person who ends up helping you down the line but the help will come back to you in one form or another. It will be important then, to be a “connector” and to be generous with your network. You will be a more effective connector if you have a diverse range of people in your network. For example, you are trying to develop business from a contact going through the “how to get a toddler into a Manhattan pre‐school” ordeal. You may not know another lawyer who’s been through that experience but your next door neighbor, who happens to be in advertising, just did. Being able to connect your potential business development lead with a helpful resource will make you look good in his/her eyes and fresh on his/her radar screen.
‐ Sometimes it is about you: Even with respect to your own career goals, it may be helpful to know people in other industries. For example, you want to be an entertainment lawyer but have no experience in that industry. Clearly it will be important to network with entertainment lawyers. Don’t stop there though. To really enhance your chances of breaking through potential transition barriers, think beyond entertainment lawyers to other professionals it might be helpful to know. What non‐lawyers may work with or know entertainment lawyers or have information on that field? Public relations professionals could be one option. Media people another. Maybe even actors who use entertainment lawyers (dream big!).
‐ In house lawyers aren’t the only people who influence hiring decisions: For those at large firms trying to develop business, it’s important to know that in‐house lawyers aren’t always the ones who make decisions about who gets hired. Sometimes business people make those decisions or, at least they can have a major impact. If you have a friend who’s an investment banker he may be in a good position to refer you to their legal department. Or, he can be instrumental in getting you an introduction/appointment with the right person in the legal department. For solo practitioners and those at smaller firms, depending on the clients you are trying to attract, you will want to focus your networking efforts directly on your target market. If you are a T & E lawyer, you may want to network with financial advisors who can refer you or join your college’s club to go directly to your source.
‐ The law may not be your ultimate destination: You may not know it now (or maybe you do) but you may want to leave the legal profession at some point. To transition out of the law it will be critical to know people outside the industry. Let’s say you want to work off your student loans for a few years in a large law firm but your ultimate career goal is to do international relief work. Your college roommate is currently working with displaced refugees in Nepal. Not only will it be important to keep up with her, you will want introductions to the other people in her network. You will also want to get involved in either pro bono or traditional volunteer work around such issues to expose you to as many people in the field as possible. Waiting until your three years at your firm are over to start the process of networking with such contacts will only delay your search, especially in a bad economy when there may be a flood of applicants.
All good networking should flow from a strategic career vision. Being creative with how you’re networking and with whom can have a significant impact. Set your goal and then think backwards. If you want to be a certain type of lawyer in a specific position, dig down a few layers and think through who else you would be interacting with. Who else would know your target audience? Apply those answers to your networking strategy.
As you get more senior in your career, you will want to focus your efforts as much as possible.
In the early stages of your career, however, your goal may well be to find out what your strategic career vision is. You have a lot of options ahead of you, so you can afford to cast a wider net to start to get some answers. Be smart and include non‐lawyers in that net.
Remember, you never know who the people you know know and when that will come in handy vis‐à‐vis your strategic career vision.
You Don't Have to Network with Just Lawyers
By Diane Costigan
Networking is one of the most important tools any attorney has in his/her career toolbox. It can help you find a job, develop business, uncover hidden opportunities, discover previously unknown resources, and even develop longstanding friendships. Naturally, it will be most likely that you will network with other lawyers. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen clients make with respect to networking is to seek out only lawyers as contacts. Focusing your networking efforts exclusively with lawyers can limit your career development. Here’s why.
‐ Universal rule: It is a universal rule that everyone is a lawyer, is married or related to a lawyer or has a close personal friend who’s a lawyer. So, no matter who you are talking to, you are never more than a few degrees away from a lawyer contact. For example, you may be looking for a job. The person who’s always on the treadmill next to you at the gym who works in fashion and with whom you’re now friends happens to be the daughter of the hiring partner at a mid‐sized firm. Bingo!
‐ It’s not just about you: An important part of networking is building up your own contacts to be in a position to help connect others. Helping others will inevitably be returned back to you through networking karma. It’s real, believe me. The person you help may not be the exact person who ends up helping you down the line but the help will come back to you in one form or another. It will be important then, to be a “connector” and to be generous with your network. You will be a more effective connector if you have a diverse range of people in your network. For example, you are trying to develop business from a contact going through the “how to get a toddler into a Manhattan pre‐school” ordeal. You may not know another lawyer who’s been through that experience but your next door neighbor, who happens to be in advertising, just did. Being able to connect your potential business development lead with a helpful resource will make you look good in his/her eyes and fresh on his/her radar screen.
‐ Sometimes it is about you: Even with respect to your own career goals, it may be helpful to know people in other industries. For example, you want to be an entertainment lawyer but have no experience in that industry. Clearly it will be important to network with entertainment lawyers. Don’t stop there though. To really enhance your chances of breaking through potential transition barriers, think beyond entertainment lawyers to other professionals it might be helpful to know. What non‐lawyers may work with or know entertainment lawyers or have information on that field? Public relations professionals could be one option. Media people another. Maybe even actors who use entertainment lawyers (dream big!).
‐ In house lawyers aren’t the only people who influence hiring decisions: For those at large firms trying to develop business, it’s important to know that in‐house lawyers aren’t always the ones who make decisions about who gets hired. Sometimes business people make those decisions or, at least they can have a major impact. If you have a friend who’s an investment banker he may be in a good position to refer you to their legal department. Or, he can be instrumental in getting you an introduction/appointment with the right person in the legal department. For solo practitioners and those at smaller firms, depending on the clients you are trying to attract, you will want to focus your networking efforts directly on your target market. If you are a T & E lawyer, you may want to network with financial advisors who can refer you or join your college’s club to go directly to your source.
‐ The law may not be your ultimate destination: You may not know it now (or maybe you do) but you may want to leave the legal profession at some point. To transition out of the law it will be critical to know people outside the industry. Let’s say you want to work off your student loans for a few years in a large law firm but your ultimate career goal is to do international relief work. Your college roommate is currently working with displaced refugees in Nepal. Not only will it be important to keep up with her, you will want introductions to the other people in her network. You will also want to get involved in either pro bono or traditional volunteer work around such issues to expose you to as many people in the field as possible. Waiting until your three years at your firm are over to start the process of networking with such contacts will only delay your search, especially in a bad economy when there may be a flood of applicants.
All good networking should flow from a strategic career vision. Being creative with how you’re networking and with whom can have a significant impact. Set your goal and then think backwards. If you want to be a certain type of lawyer in a specific position, dig down a few layers and think through who else you would be interacting with. Who else would know your target audience? Apply those answers to your networking strategy.
As you get more senior in your career, you will want to focus your efforts as much as possible.
In the early stages of your career, however, your goal may well be to find out what your strategic career vision is. You have a lot of options ahead of you, so you can afford to cast a wider net to start to get some answers. Be smart and include non‐lawyers in that net.
Remember, you never know who the people you know know and when that will come in handy vis‐à‐vis your strategic career vision.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Today is my 38th birthday. I've been talking about starting a blog for, oh I don't know, four years now. So, today is the day to walk the walk.
My work involves helping people balance work, life, health and happiness and that will be the main content for this blog. Now, here's the big secret........ I have totally self-selected into my work because we teach what we most need to learn. This blog will journal my quest to balance all of these things and share the resources and lessons I learn along the way. I'm tempted to call it a struggle but perhaps it's more of a continual dance that sometimes looks fluid and has flow while other times is choppy and off tempo.
Every year, I use my birthday as a day to take stock. My quick 2010 inventory resassures me that I have many things to be grateful for. A career I love with fantastic clients & colleagues; amazing family and friends who make me feel special on my birthday and all year long; and a significant other who writes me special birthday poetry and takes care of me (and that's no easy feat!!). This reflection gives me a sense of security that as I get older, I'm moving forward. Birthdays can make us feel simultaneously old and panicked yet young and accomplished. So much time has passed yet we have all the time in the world.
I don't do New Year's resolutions. I pick themes for each year instead. This year, my theme is breaking old habits that get in the way of my personal growth. To go with my theme, I always write a mantra for the year. Here's my 2010 mantra:
I commit to live in a happier, healthier, higher way by honoring the power of choice, respecting my instincts and embracing the warrior within.
Six months in, I think I've done a decent job. My birthday promise to myself is to pick this up a few notches.
I'm excited to see how this manifests itself.
Thanks for reading this inaugural post!!!
My work involves helping people balance work, life, health and happiness and that will be the main content for this blog. Now, here's the big secret........ I have totally self-selected into my work because we teach what we most need to learn. This blog will journal my quest to balance all of these things and share the resources and lessons I learn along the way. I'm tempted to call it a struggle but perhaps it's more of a continual dance that sometimes looks fluid and has flow while other times is choppy and off tempo.
Every year, I use my birthday as a day to take stock. My quick 2010 inventory resassures me that I have many things to be grateful for. A career I love with fantastic clients & colleagues; amazing family and friends who make me feel special on my birthday and all year long; and a significant other who writes me special birthday poetry and takes care of me (and that's no easy feat!!). This reflection gives me a sense of security that as I get older, I'm moving forward. Birthdays can make us feel simultaneously old and panicked yet young and accomplished. So much time has passed yet we have all the time in the world.
I don't do New Year's resolutions. I pick themes for each year instead. This year, my theme is breaking old habits that get in the way of my personal growth. To go with my theme, I always write a mantra for the year. Here's my 2010 mantra:
I commit to live in a happier, healthier, higher way by honoring the power of choice, respecting my instincts and embracing the warrior within.
Six months in, I think I've done a decent job. My birthday promise to myself is to pick this up a few notches.
I'm excited to see how this manifests itself.
Thanks for reading this inaugural post!!!
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