Meditation for Performance.

On Friday, August 8th, I participated in the Chopra Center's "A Global Meditation for Peace" (globalmeditation.chopra.com). Not surprisingly, there were many nuggets of spiritual and meditation wisdom and for that alone I was grateful to have participated. To know that every country in the world had at least one person participating made it feel not only special but huge and small at the same time.  And if the world vibrated peace a little more strongly and solidly for that one hour and maybe a few after, it was a major meditation coup and so, so worth it.

One of my favorite quotes of the event was when Deepak Chopra said something to the effect of "I normally tell people to meditate at least once a day, unless they are really busy and then I tell them to meditate twice a day because they are the ones who really need it."  This struck such a powerful chord with me because it was my learning insight from the week before.

I had been focused on pulling together a workshop that a colleague and I were presenting later in the week for one of our most important clients. I had delivered pieces of it in other workshops but I was pulling the content together in a different way and having to shorten it significantly.  For me, shorter presentations are always harder to create than longer ones.  To add to the stress and pressure, due to our travel schedules and a major undertaking I had in my personal life (I was the celebrant at the wedding of two of my favorite people in the world--in both English and Spanish), my colleague and I hadn't really had time to discuss the content or our approach until the Monday of that week.

Even though I'm steeped in stress management and wellness techniques, I often and easily default to old patterns and behaviors of just shutting everything out and off and focusing exclusively on whatever the big project is.  This time, however, I resisted the pull to my old ways of being and kept true to what I knew would help me best get through and be successful.

I made sure to go to yoga or to meditate each day--sometimes twice a day. I took long walks and breaks.  My drinks of choice were green--green juice and green tea (and ok, maybe a glass of wine to ease the nerves a bit). I hydrated.  I made time to spend with friends and family without feeling guilty.  And sleep was my priority.

Maybe it was the wisdom that comes with age.  Maybe it was giving myself permission to heed to an instinctual pull. Maybe it was the collective force of the guardian angels who, bless their hearts, clock some major overtime keeping me out of danger and on a productive path. Maybe I rationalized it as research or experimentation. Or, maybe it was a sense of accountability to live as authentically close to the words I speak and the beliefs I cling to but occasionally fall short of (she says with self-compassion yet a continued call to action at the same time).

Whatever it was, it worked--and it worked big time! I was proud of the workshop we delivered and best of all, I felt exhilarated not drained both before and after.

I am not only grateful, I am re-energized and re-affirmed that really, meditating twice a day when you are at your busiest and all the peaceful living that goes with it is the most prudent course to stick with for peak performance.

Be well.
Namaste.

Picking & Sticking

My husband thinks I don't listen to him. I'll own that I can see where he's coming from. But this micro-blog is a testament to my commitment to try to show that I do listen. Well, most of the time :-) Yesterday he told me he was reading my blog. (P.S. I haven't blogged in almost 2 years.) I asked, "Which post?" He said, "All of them." I mean, can you say "loving, romantic husband"???!!! He then encouraged me to start writing more. Believe, I'd love to!

In trying to live my work though, I told him it will have to be a 2nd quarter area of focus. You see, two plus years into being a working parent I have a keen awareness that my "free time" (defined as non-work; non-family; non-home) is both incredibly limited and  precious so I need to be extra discerning about where it goes. And a tool I've implemented to make the best use of said time is to just pick one thing that time will be dedicated to for a quarter or other specified period of time.  I call it "Picking & Sticking". This  quarter my "free time" is going to preparing for my second degree black belt promotion--although if you were my main instructor you probably wouldn't believe it.  But there it is.

So, blogging will need to wait until April. For now, this mini micro-blog is my pre-Valentine's Day way of saying to my biggest fan, the artist, that I love him, I appreciate his support and that I do listen. And for any other readers who've stopped by, thanks for indulging this morning's romantic gesture. I appreciate you too! Happy Heart Week!

Which Offer Is The Right One????

Evaluating job offers can be an anxiety provoking exercise—particularly in a challenging economy.  Many people feel pressured to take the first offer that comes along even if it is not consistent with what they are looking for.  Or, the offer they do not want will expire before they have heard back from their first choice.  If you're in this boat, here are some things to consider:

Take Stock: It is helpful to step back and take stock of your priorities, your career objectives and what is motivating you in your search.   To the extent possible, it is best to get this clarity at the beginning of your search before you get to the offer stage to have as much objectivity as possible.

Below are fifteen factors that typically drive the decisions people make about their careers in general or jobs specifically.  For those that apply to you, please rank them in order of importance (with 1 being the highest). Try to really differentiate when possible.

_____ Job security

_____ Salary

_____ Opportunity for advancement

_____ Culture/environment

_____ Experience

_____ Lifestyle/Stress Factor

_____ Prestige

_____ Content of work

_____ People

_____ Personal happiness

_____ Management opportunity

_____ Skill advancement

_____ Public service

_____ Travel

_____ Geographic location

_____ Other: _____________________________________________________

Once you are clear on the above, below are some additional steps to take as you work through your decision making process.  Continue to drill down on these steps until you find enough clarity to help you find the best solution possible.

Compare Specifics: What are the specifics of each offer (ex: salary, bonus, benefits, title, responsibility, location, etc.) and how do they compare and contrast.   How do they match up to the above?

Compare Experiences: When you think about your interview experiences (ex: the people you met, how you were treated, the environment, the culture, etc.), how do they compare and contrast.  Make sure to include your gut reactions or instincts that surfaced.

Pro/Con List: Take the two comparison experiences and create and further evaluate a pro/con list.

Forced Comparison: Take two data points from the pro/con list and do a forced comparison.  In other words, if you could only have one of either high salary or high responsibility, which would you pick? Proceed until all of your data points have been compared.  Now take your new list of prioritized data points and compare it to each offer to see which comes closest.

Known vs. Unknown: Often it is the unknown which can paralyze a decision making process (ex: will I be successful; will I be happy; will I be the first out if there is a downsizing; etc.).  It can be helpful to list everything that is known as well as unknown about a particular offer.  Then take your list of unknowns as see if you can get some more concrete information by having follow up discussions with your potential future employer or others.

Risk Assessment: There will likely still be unknowns left on your list but hopefully they are now fewer in number.  The remaining unknowns will need to be factored into a risk assessment. What is at risk if you do accept? What is at risk if you don’t accept? Knowing your typical level of risk tolerance will be helpful here.  Once that is all factored in you need to explore what could mitigate the risks of both.  Finally, you will need to assess how willing you are to take the risks at hand.

Best Case Scenario:  Reviewing the best-case scenario can be helpful for with motivation to move forward as well as mitigating some risk.

Worst Case Scenario: Reviewing the worst-case scenario can help you manage the risk as it gives you a plan if things do not work out.  It can also remind you of the tools you have at hand including your own resourcefulness. 

Other Options: Sometimes clients get so focused on having to decide on the options currently on the table that they forget there may be other options.  This can help take some of the pressure off of the decision at hand.  

Want vs. Should: Another delay in decision-making can be the tension between knowing the decision you want to make yet feeling that you should make a different decision based on current priorities (ex: finances; support of family members; job security).  Write down or articulate what your “want” and your “should” are.  Then consider what would you need to make both decisions.  Either way you will likely trade off something so it will be important to go in fully understanding what that will be and how you will manage it.
Little Picture vs. Big Picture: Before you make your final decision, revisit your long-term career vision.  Where do you want/plan to be in the long-term? Consider how whatever decision you are making in the short-term will impact your larger goals.  In particular, if you are making a decision based on current priorities that is out of sync with your overall career goals, you will want to consider putting some time limits on it and develop a plan to get you back on track as soon as possible. 

Don't be afraid to pull the trigger.  Whatever decision you make will ultimately get you to the right place one way or another. 

Top Ten Most Productive Job Search Activities While Your Career Coach is On Vacation

Is your career coach taking a breather at the holidays?  I know I am.  Still, that doesn't mean that your job search needs to be put on hold.  Below are ten tips I left clients with last year while I was on my honeymoon.  

1.     CLE: Keep current on/expand training & maintain your CLE hrs.  In person CLEs are also a great way to network.

2.     Technical Knowledge: Brush up or research any technical areas of the law that are important to your search (Ex: if you’re applying to jobs for which you are mostly qualified but missing one or two key areas—use this time to teach yourself about them through relevant reading materials or reaching out to those in your network who are subject matter experts in those areas.)

3.     Committees/Associations: Have you been meaning to join a committee or association that would be relevant to your search?  What research could you do to make this happen?  Or, are you already a member of one but want to get more involved?  How can you best go about doing that?

4.     Alumni Career Services:  Have you reached out to your law school’s career resources center recently?  They may have some resources or alumni to put you in touch with that could be helpful to your search.

5.     Linked In: Spend some quality time on LinkedIn

a.     Add contacts:

                                               i.     Reviewing the suggested contacts that LI suggests for you

                                             ii.     Look at your current contacts and see if you want to be introduced to any of their contacts

                                            iii.     Using the search engines for parts of your background you might not have searched under (ex:  previous employers; schools; alumni associations)

b.     Join groups:

                                               i.     For those looking in-house-ACC has a group you may want to check out

                                             ii.     Most practice areas & specialties have dedicated groups

                                            iii.     Government sectors also have groups

c.     Update/enhance your profile: make sure your profile is as complete as possible so you are searchable by recruiters & potential employers

d.     Get/give recommendations

e.     Re(search)—Linked In is a great way to build a list of potential employers (firms & companies) that you might be interested in targeting

                                               i.     Scroll through your contacts who have the types of positions you want—see who their connections are and where they work—start to build your list

                                             ii.     Once you have a working list of 10-20 company/firm names see if they have LI profiles or go on their websites to do further research to find out:

1.     If they are hiring

2.     If they have what you’re looking for in a future employer

                                            iii.     Once you’ve narrowed your list down further—go back to your network to see if anyone can make an introduction for you

                                            iv.     If you can’t pinpoint a human connection, use your research to craft a very targeted cover letter that shows two things: a.)  all of the relevant things you know about the company/firm/department and b.) how you specifically can add value based on what you know

6.     Networking:

a.     Do a sweep of your most important contacts if you haven’t reached out to them in awhile

                                               i.     Give them an update on your search

                                             ii.     Let them know if anything has changed

b.     Reach out to contacts you haven’t yet hit in your search

c.     Start adding new contacts

                                               i.     Go to events

                                             ii.     Ask your current contacts to introduce you to their contacts

d.     Reach out to those contacts you know would be helpful but you’ve been avoiding

7.     Search Sites: Pop onto the sites if you haven’t had a chance in awhile.  Particularly for in house, there have been a lot more postings of late.  Even if you have a search saved and get updates, you can sometimes surface new things by going on to the sites and throwing in different criteria.

8.     Follow Up:  If you’ve got some opportunities pending but haven’t heard back in awhile (whether via recruiters or directly with employers), do some targeted follow up to see where things stand.  Don’t feel like you’re bothering people—you’re showing initiative and interest—both of which are important to employers.

9.     Professional Reading: Pull out that piles of articles you’ve been saving up.  Check out the American Lawyer or other relevant sites.  Read the WSJ or NYT business section.  See if you can pick up any tidbits that could be a clue to your search.  (ex:  are you an IP litigator and a huge IP litigation practice just moved from one firm to another?)

10.  Take a Break: Particularly if you’ve been diligent throughout your search, it’s ok and even advisable to take breaks from time to time.  Taking a break and regrouping can re-energize a job search.  Just make sure it’s a defined break. 

Don't Go To Your Holiday Party Stressed!

Holiday parties can have a big upside for your career--particularly with respect to internal networking and profile building.  They offer a chance to catch up with people you may not have worked with in a while but want to stay in touch with. They can be a venue to meet or get in front of someone you would like to work with but haven't gotten the chance.  Or, they can let you enjoy the company of those you do work with in a nicer, more relaxed environment. As an added benefit, people are generally in good moods around the holidays.
On the downside, free booze and food makes holiday parties fecund ground for overeating, drinking too much and even potential career or reputation missteps.


From my days in HR at a large law firm, I've broken up fights; saved marriages and spared otherwise awkward next morning moments; thwarted attempts at public urination; sent a fair number of merry-makers home in cabs; and kept grumpy humbuggers from negatively contaminating everyone's good cheer.  
 
Holiday party patrol was never fun but it was certainly eye-opening. But really, who hasn't overindulged at a holiday party? I'm certainly not throwing stones.



So, what's the culprit or common thread? It definitely comes down to stress.  And let's face it, stress at law firms at year end is just a big old given!  Year-end deals are trying are to close. Projects have hard & fast deadlines so the fortunate can get out on vacation. Throw in holiday shopping and stress is a constant year-end companion.

You need not put your career or your health goals in danger though if you heed these simple pre-holiday party tips:

1.) Stop and gage your level of stress.  If it's high, go for a walk around the block, pop on your head phones and listen to a soothing song or just take a few deep breaths.

2.) Eat a light, healthy snack before you go so that you're not starving when you get there. Hunger at a venue where there is unlimited access to food can easily derail your nutritional goals.

3.) Establish guidelines for eating and drinking before you go and be disciplined about them.  For example, maybe you will have only one of each appetizer and skip the carving station or cheese spread.  Or maybe you will avoid the dessert table.  And perhaps you will limit yourself to just wine or beer skipping the top shelf hard liquor & set a numerical limit.

4.) If you are concerned you may overindulge, buddy up with someone who can help keep you accountable and vice versa.

Other tips for once you're there:

1.) Alternate drinks with water.

2.) Situate yourself away from the bar and/or the food stations.  Having to get on line for things will help to create natural breaks and slow you down.

3.) Mingle and immerse yourself in conversation.  Engaging dialog can be a helpful distraction.

Now armed with these simple preventative measures, go enjoy yourself. This season only comes once a year.

Meditation Monday: Bechamel Sauce

I love, love, love to cook.  For me, it's one of the best forms of meditation because it requires a fairly intense focus.  Problem is, with a 5 month old around I don't get much of a chance to cook the way I love to--all day long, with my husband on big projects like intricate pastas, soups or stews.  That is until grandparents show up for Thanksgiving weekend.

So, with the precious resource of babysitters around, we embarked on some epic cooking projects this past weekend.  One in particular, lasagna made with Bechamel sauce (a la Giada DeLaurentiis), provided an unexpected meditation opportunity. Bechamel sauce,  because it needs constant stirring, requires you to focus on just one thing for at least ten minutes.  Wa-lah!!  It fits my micro meditation definition.

There I was, stirring my Bechamel sauce.  I would breathe in for 7 counts stirring right to left and then I would exhale for 7 counts stirring left to right.  I did that for approximately 15 minutes while I waited patiently for the sauce to hit the right thickness.

There you have it.  Grab a pot, some milk, flour, butter, etc. and get to stirring, breathing and a very fulfilling micro-meditation.

Meditation Monday: A Chair & A Midtown Waterfall

For today's Meditation Monday, I'm borrowing a page from someone else's book.  The best part is, I don't even know this guy. 

With a few spare minutes in between a lunch and an afternoon meeting, I happened upon a lovely outdoor space on 53rd between 5th & Madison.  The draw for this space is that there is a full length waterfall/fountain.  Talk about a Zen spot in the middle of mid-town craziness.

I thought, what a great place to just sit and meditate.  And then I realized, someone else beat me to it.  There he was--conservative blue suit; white shirt; blue tie.  He was sitting in a chair, by himself in front of the water.  That's all he was doing.  Just sitting.  Sometimes he'd look at the water--and sometimes he'd simply look down or off into space.  He wasn't on his blackberry, chatting or scarfing down food as others around him were (myself included). He was just sitting.

What struck me was how calm and yet how purposeful he looked.  Very peaceful and serene.  I have no idea how long he was there prior to my arrival but he sat like that for at least 10 minutes. 

What a great role model.  A business type who was taking some time out of his day to just sit in silence and stare at a waterfall.  Maybe he was reviewing a presentation he was about to give or go over a difficult conversation he needed to have.  Who knows?

What I do know is that I took note of him and was impressed by him.  I thought, if he can do it, so can I--and so can you!